unless stated, none of these photos were taken by me
11:07 pm - 12.28.05
an email to my good friend lisa marie
Thank you for not giving up, this month has been hard, and all I wanted was to crawl into a hole and die. But with the efforts of friends like you, my plan has been thwarted again.
I've met someone special, his name is Clayton. He's perfect, in that beautiful imperfect way. He likes me, he may even ____ me, I'm incapable of saying that word right now. I don't want it to mean anything right now. The doubts are creeping in, I want him to leave me alone, cause I'm so not worth his attentions. You understand, I'm sure.
He's great, and I'm great too with him, and without him. I look at all my baggage and I want it all to be gone, so he won't see it. But he already has, and now I'm ashamed.
Life hasn't changed much. Tradgedies have left scars, but I'm still here to show them to the sun.
I want to hide, and just disappear until next year. 2005 can't be an evil dying wrathful bitch any longer, if you don't show yourself.
Stephen seems nice, I loved the pictures. Sometime soon I'll call you, if I can get over my self doubt. bah humbug.
I made a website where you can do a Tarot reading. There isn't any nudity, so it's safe to view anywhere. Check it out: Tarot Reader
After writting this email, I've begun to feel better. I haven't updated my journal for a while, I just didn't know how to say it.