unless stated, none of these photos were taken by me
11:43 - 02-03-06
Could we please turn around?
Smoke falls. Things are created in the violence of fire.
So you watch the sunrise sinking, and she's talking in her sleep. A dream of how alone she was tomorrow when you keep all those promises to someone in a mirror you will find at your parents' house in 1989. Terrorized by the ruling party: calendars and commas. Small request, could we please turn around? So you whisper your arrival walking backwards to the door. Wonder briefly what it is you're hesitating for. All the streets lie down, deserted in the darkest part of night, to lead you through the evening to the light. Pulled along in the tender grip of watches and ellipses. Small request. Could we please turn around?
This mood is still driving me insane
could we please turn around
10:56 - 01-31-06
piss poor entry about getting rid of crap
my good friend Christina just put into words all I feel about my potential move:
"...most of the stuff that I have around the house -- is stuff that I have been holding on to for sentimental reasons, or because I thought I might use it 'someday'. I have decided that with this move, I don't want to focus on 'someday' any more. It's time to focus on the here and now."
I'm looking at my bookshelf, my clothes, stupid lil things I carry around with me...things I can let go of. Fuck, I'm not going to have as much room if I move in with Clayton. Some closet space, shelf space, but not much else.
I've envisioned what my first apartment looks like, and it's not what Clayton lives in. Honestly, I'm dissapointed. He lives in a trailer. It's a nice one, two bed, but it's a trailer. When you've given up on life, you get a trailor. It saddens me that he was giving up. I was starting to give up too, but I still wanted an apartment!
I'm sick of being sick. Now I'm reached the fun stage, runny nose, swollen glands, and body aches. fuck fuck fuck
9:57 - 01-31-06
Did I get less lonely or did I just get used to being alone?
found a very werid blog...
It's a very weird bizarre strange surreal something, it seems to go on forever. Without end.
Here you can pluck nose hairs
Actually, I wouldn't have a problem with my selective memory, if only I had some control over the selection.
I just got too wise, too soon.That's the gift I'm stuck with.
looking for a home?
do chickens eat frogs?
like I said, very weird blog...
6:30 - 01-31-06
and it shows those pearly whites
I'm sick, a razorbeast has taken refuge in my throat, my head is filling with fluid, my head is going to explode, it'll just go pop, brain goo everywhere, it'll be so disgusting, what a mess.
I wanted to go job hunting yesterday, but nope, icky sickness said no! Sleep all day! Spend hours scanning your wall porn into the puter.
Yep, that's what I did. Took all my sexy pics off the walls, and scanned them into my puter. Finally finished last night. Walls look naked now. And I have no desire to fill them. This is odd. I hate white empty walls. There must be something on them. Or I go nuts!
Most stuff doesn't matter now.