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From time to time images are mysteriously deleted by Photofuckit, I cannot stop this. Whenever possible, I will do my best to alter entries with missing images.

11:45 pm - 02.14.04
Do something differant...
I went to see Celia again with Sarah tonight. It was a great show, very uplifting.

But I realised something, I know absolutey nothing about women. And even less about relationships.

Which depresses me to no end.

My need for a relationship is merely to conduct some cold experiment in what stuff feels like. I had a taste of that with Erin, aka Grace last year. I got so caught up in the new sensations, that I forgot that she isn't a sexy lab rab, she's a woman with a heart.

So this is mt working theory, that people who want to be in relationships, shouldn't be in one. Cause you don't go to the store to shop for a lover, and say, "Hey you, lets fall in love, date for a week, break up, make up, date for two weeks, then call it quits."

No, you're supposed to just meet someone, and whatever happens, happens.

My attitude is wrong, I'm trying to fix my life, so that other lovers will want me. I want a lover to want to be with me, and so I feel the need to compare myself to other men like me.

I saw an overweight guy, glasses, pimples, with a hot, skinny girlfriend. He wasn't sleezy, she wasn't a hussie. They were having intelligent conversations, and they seemed to be really into eachother.

But how does that happen? And you know you could never duplicate the circumstances. They just happened, and that's that.

So what do we do? Go about our lives, stop posting personal ads, stop dancing with cute guys at the bar? Just eat, work, sleep, and just do our best to beccome the person we want to be, only for our self?

And maybe magically, the lover, who is doing the same presumably, will lock eyes with us, and we'll just know.

Maybe "love at first sight" isn't just a romantic ideal, maybe it's a template for our lives. That you just do the best you can, and one day, that other person will look at you, and you will know.

No hungry desire, no aching need, it will be like looking at a mirror, the same of everything in their eyes.

Do something differant...


ask me about pins - 01-02-08
My 80's Nostalgia Page - 11-02-07
The Incredible Buddha Boy - 10-17-07
youthful energy - 10-15-07
Bizarre Love Triangle - 10-15-07