unless stated, none of these photos were taken by me
1:25 - 04-11-06
the Caroline Poland connection
I just found a great quote on Dan Heller's phototography page.
"Eroticism is when you use a feather,
One of his models, Andrea reminds me of my friend from Shabazz High, Caroline Poland. She was this fabulous goth chick, I mean dyed in the wool goth, it was a religion to her. And she was so creative and interesting and intelligent too.
Anyways she wrote a silly message in my yearbook, bawking like a chicken.
10:48 - 04-09-06
Queen Maeve is stuck to the bottom of my shoe
What Gemstome Faerie are you?
5:05 - 04-07-06
it's not sunday, but it's still raining
Oh surrender is much sweeter
When we both let it go
Let the water wash our bodies clean
And love wash our souls
And pray that it's raining on Sunday
Mondays doesn't always have to be a specific day, I think it can me a period of time too. I don't want to deal with this blasted move, Lake Mills is my Monday, all of this pressure stress anxiety, it's all Monday. So until I say otherwise, it'll be Sunday.
And it's raining.
3:53 - 04-07-06
kotter is sitting out on the curb crying, he'll be back in a minute
Before I get too distracted, here's my problem...
I feel like I'm losing touch with all my good close friends, some subconscious need to cut all ties, cause I'll be moving away soon, and it'll be even harder to keep in touch, and why not save me the heartbreak now?
WRONG! My friends have been awesome friends, I don't want to lose them! So why am I sabotaging this? Why am I so scared? I always say I prefer small towns, and maybe I do, but I've lived in a big city for so long, that maybe I lost it?
My gawd, I'm going to be so restless, freaking out over the silence.
It's raining now, a great heavy ceaseless rain, it's great, but partly my fault I'm sure. There's just so much MUCH stuff in me that isn't being said. And I feel like I'm gnawing off Clayton's ear trying to tell him.
Currently, we get like 3 hrs or less a week to actually talk. I've only physically seen him maybe 5-7 times since we've met, almost 4 months ago now!
I just need to be there, in Lake Mills, for a few days, on my own, to just see what it's like.
I can't forget my friends, why do I do this, why do I withdrawal in times of stress and then burn all my bridges?
And they freak out if I'm gone too long, cause I'm a damn good friend to all of them...except for now.