unless stated, none of these photos were taken by me
12:02 am - 03.08.04
Can you hear the drums, Fernando?
Spring is coming...
I am cumming...
I am feeling that aching desire, that beast in my bed, like some deep blackhole is in bed with me, threatening to engulf me. So I stiffen in bed, body like a board, unable to relax.
I would rather relax, soften my posture, and just let go, like I would if a man was by my side.
A man to hold, to feel warmth, his body, my body, together.
Bed is calling even now, a dreadful longing, this horrible chore, sleep, alone.
If I'm awake, I don't have to remember the gap, the ghost I feel behind me. When my own hands can almost feel like his hands. Numb, cold, unfeeling.
I feel lost in my bed, I have no idea where my head goes anymore.