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From time to time images are mysteriously deleted by Photofuckit, I cannot stop this. Whenever possible, I will do my best to alter entries with missing images.
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11:06 - 04-25-06
there's no success like failure
Love Minus Zero/No Limit

My love she speaks like silence,
Without ideals or violence,
She doesn't have to say she's faithful,
Yet she's true, like ice, like fire.
People carry roses,
Make promises by the hours,
My love she laughs like the flowers,
Valentines can't buy her.

In the dime stores and bus stations,
People talk of situations,
Read books, repeat quotations,
Draw conclusions on the wall.
Some speak of the future,
My love she speaks softly,
She knows there's no success like failure
And that failure's no success at all.

The cloak and dagger dangles,
Madams light the candles.
In ceremonies of the horsemen,
Even the pawn must hold a grudge.
Statues made of match sticks,
Crumble into one another,
My love winks, she does not bother,
She knows too much to argue or to judge.

The bridge at midnight trembles,
The country doctor rambles,
Bankers' nieces seek perfection,
Expecting all the gifts that wise men bring.
The wind howls like a hammer,
The night blows cold and rainy,
My love she's like some raven
At my window with a broken wing.

-Bob Dylan, 1965


8:40 - 04-24-06
Madison Wisconsin
Madison Wisconsin

First appeared on the CD House Concert in 2000. Was also on the CD Yah Hey in 2002. Re-recorded for Love Is The Weirdest of All in 2004.

2000 Lou & Peter Berryman
Words by Peter, Music by Lou
Underline, both sing. Italic, Peter sings. Plain, Lou sings.

We take the show to Minnesota, we take the show to Monterey
We fly to Boston on a plane and we drive to Portland, Maine
And we gig along the way
And at the end of each performance we blow the audience a kiss
And when following the show they come up to say hello,
Seems it always leads to this:

CHORUS:
So how's ol' Madison, Wisconsin, is that Paul Soglin still the mayor
And is Rennebohm's expanding, the Club de Wash still there?
I used to sit out on the terrace and watch my grade point disappear
For the life of me I don't know how I wound up here

Now I can see us in the future, we take a boat to Bengal Bay
From Calcutta on a train to the Himalayan chain
Takes at least another day
We hike for weeks among the foothills, it feels like 700 miles
We ask a Sherpa, could you please help us carry all our cheese?
And he turns around and smiles: (CHORUS)

We leave Mount Everest behind us, we hop a steamer tramp to Perth
Old Australia seems to me's far away as you can be
And remain upon the Earth
But in our Bucky Badger derbies as we survey the billabong
We think we're really off the map till a local sees the cap
And didgery-does a little song: (CHORUS)

We leave Australia in a rocket, we hit the moon and take a walk
The craters all are full of guys with enormous buggy eyes
And they all begin to talk
It sounds like "Hey gadeng vadaieda, oh yah gadeng vadeida hey"
But we realize pretty soon, they mean "welcome to the moon,
Have a beer and by the way...": (CHORUS)


5:23 - 04-24-06
READ! READ! READ!
NOW HEAR THIS!

This Wednesday, April 26th, 2006, I will be shutting down my computer possibly for about a month or two. This means I won't have access to messengers!

I will still be able to check email, but I will not be able to talk to anyone online for at least a month.

So anything you need to tell me, find me online in the next few days, cause after that, I won't be around much.

Update:

I sorta have a place to stay, it will be confirmed on Friday afternoon.

I have a place to store my crap, and movers to move it there.

I don't have the money to pay for any of these things, so my Mom and Clayton are putting up the money.

I am still freaking out, but a huge weight has been removed.


12:59 - 04-22-06
Who I Am Today
This is an email due to be sent to Clayton on May 22, 2006, basically a month from now. You can write your own letter at Futureme.org

***

Clayton,

Today is Earth Day, a time to celebrate the roots beneath us, and to wave our branches in the sky and thank the Mother for our lives and good fortune.

I am a man who acts like a boy, I played dumb for so long, to fit in, but now I want to be smart, and it's so hard to catch up.

You went to college...with a vengeance! You worked your butt off, resulting in a mile long list of credentials. I don't know how I've ever going to hold a conversation with you. I didn't really read books until about 15 years ago, I didn't think any book captured what I saw in my mind, and I was wrong. Very wrong. There are books out there with possibilities in them that stretch farther than anything I created as a child.


I don't know why I'm writing this. I guess I want to know if I'm more relaxed in a month, if we've actually had a date. If I've had an orgasm in bed with you?

I want to see your early art, I want to see you as a boy, I want to see you.

Will you dance with me outside when it rains? Will you help me conjure the sea monster in Rock Lake?

I'm still serious about designing a Tarot deck, and I want you to do the art, but you don't seem to commit enough time to your art? Maybe you do, and it just seems that it's all about slot machines and coffee from my view point.

I'm going to worry about you a lot. I'm going to worry you insane, unless we talk. If I know what's going on, it's okay. Once I know where I'm going, I don't really care how I get there.

Right now, I'm weighing the likely hood of you finding the money to put me up in a hotel for a month, me finding a job to help pay for it, finding a storage locker for all my crap, and finally, find enough friends to help me move all my crap to the storage site.

I've been writing this for about a half an hour and I still have no clue what to write. I wanted to tell you about who I am right now. today. in this moment.

And I'm having a hard time believing that I'm going to change in a month. I have a hard time believing that I won't be living on the street.

We're going to fight, and I'm going to say some incredibly stupid and insensitive things. And I will see my faults, but usually afterwards. I'm going to annoy the piss out of you, and you're going to wonder what you ever saw in me.

I'm going to hate it when you don't or won't call me, I'm going to invent all these horrible scenarios in my head of why you're not there, and then when you do show up, all my anger and anxiety will melt away, because I'll be so happy that you're safe and in my arms.

I hate kissing. I always avoided kissing you, because when I kiss a guy I feel nothing, just lips mashing against lips. No fireworks, no rush of emotion. Nothing. I don't want to feel nothing with you. I want to kiss you, I want each kiss to be a connection. A romance in it of itself.

I want to see your romantic side more often, and I want you to stop laughing at me or cracking jokes when I'm trying to be romantic.

And if you're distracted when I call you, don't just ignore me and pretend your listening, because it feels like you do that sometimes. If you're in the middle of a conversation or are working on a project, it's okay to tell me to politely buzz off.

Stop putting yourself down, especially when you're smoking. When you're ready to quit, you will. I have some stop smoking resources you may not have, but I'm not going to nag you or pressure you to quit, that won't help. If you need help or support, I will do my best to be there for you.

For what it's worth, you've smoked a lot less around me, so you do have the will power to do it. :)

I'm worried about how much sugar you eat. I used to drink soda and eat candy like it was going out of style, but I have cut it way back. I sleep better, and I have fewer stomach problems. But I've been eating more sweets now lately, and I know it's your influence.

I don't want you to dramatically change your habits, but if you could be a lil more sensitive to me. Like don't give me a bag of pixie sticks. They were soooo good, but I'm waking up early in the morning with acid attacks again.. I don't understand how your metabolism can stand the daily onslaught of so much sugar?

ok, track change. I don't know what's going to be different on May 22nd, if we're going to be closer, or farther apart.

I really like you, but it feels like we're going to have to fall in love all over again.

There's so much more I could write. I'm going to cut it off here though.

This is who I am today, on April 22, 2006, Earth Day.

Love,
Andrew


11:22 - 04-21-06
all of me in boxes
Wow, I was really pissed off.

I'm doing better now. I've been really packing a lot the last 2 days. Mom has been ignoring me, I'm kinda worried about that. We won't be seeing much of each other, so I'd like to spend these last few days on good terms.

Some of my friends seem to be going through something that I can't help with, I'm not really worried that it will affect our friendship, it just feels like they need time to recooperate while they go through their transitions.

I have a lot a crap, and actually the thought of it going into storage, and not into Clayton's home, relaxes me some. That I can have more time to sort through it.

I applied for a job at the Kwik Trip in Lake Mills. Clayton used to work there, so he'll put in a good word for me.

I guess it's finally happening?

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ask me about pins - 01-02-08
My 80's Nostalgia Page - 11-02-07
The Incredible Buddha Boy - 10-17-07
youthful energy - 10-15-07
Bizarre Love Triangle - 10-15-07